The Coolest Things You Can’t Have.

I’ve always been a bit of a dreamer when it comes to things that I want. I remember when I was young I would always ask for Lego kits that were way out of my league and would often get halfway through building something before getting frustrated and tearing it apart to make something of my own creation. This strange desire of mine hasn’t stopped as I’ve grown older and I constantly find myself attracted to things that are either hoaxes or will probably never see the light of day. It’s probably a good thing to, since most of these things would cost an arm and a leg usually.

This became ever more apparent yesterday when my mother sent me some pictures of what could prove to be an amazing contraption (it’s an April fools joke) the Hotelicopter. Forgetting for a second that all the pictures are renders and the airframe has problems all over it (those whopping great big jet engines will do you a fat lot of good without a proper aerofoil on that thing) it’s an incredible idea, basically a flying fortress which is renovated for your pleasure. Nothing would make me more giddy then taking a ride in one of these things and given the chance to pilot one I don’t think I could say no. Sadly such an endeavour is a little too rich even for those wealthy enough to afford it, and I don’t think we’ll see anything like that for quite a long time. The new Airbus A380 does get very close however, with some of their suites coming with shower and spa access.

Up until recently I was still hopeful to play the next instalment of Duke Nukem, one of my first forays into first person shooters. Despite all the rumours and jokes about it never coming out I still remained hopefully that one day something would be released, whether it be through an anonymous leak of alpha code or a quickly slapped together game pushed out the door to recoup the losses. With the death of 3D Realms this dream almost died along with it, until Take Two engaged the lawyers and demanded all the assets of the game. Maybe one day I’ll be able to work into the store and order a copy of it, but it’s still up there with the Hotelicopter for now.

I think it’s that little part of me that won’t let go of boyish curiosity that gets me into these kinds of things. Whilst I’m usually able to discern the hoaxes (although sometimes I refuse to believe things are fake, because I want them anyway) I still love to get lost in the illusion for a while. You never know what might turn out to be real sometimes and there’s always going to be that small part of myself that wishes all those wild and wacky ideas come to fruition.

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