Maybe I’m just a chauvinist but I believe that many of the chivalrous behaviours and values that the traditional gentleman upheld still ring true to this day. Whilst I am all for empowering a person regardless of their gender I still hold in my mind that it is my responsibility to provide for and protect my family. Whether this is out of some notion of pride or merely a testosterone fueled male response to the modern world is a question left to debate. But for me as a man who is about to undergo one of the most life changing events in his life, the ideas of chivalry and courtly romance are something that will form the basis of my ever-lasting devotion to my fiancee.
I would caution against confusing the ideas of chilvary with that of gender inequality. More the idea is that anyone, regardless of their gender or gender of their partner, should be courteous and respectful towards their significant other. The traditional gentleman would not concern himself with the idea that his actions could be misconstrued as patronising, as long he himself knew they were moral and just. Too often does the idea that a man should provide for his family turn to a debate on gender equality when in reality, it is merely our sense of pride and devotion that drives us to feel responsible for providing for and protecting our family.
It was then with great pride that I was able to turn to like minded individuals. The mix of serious issues dabble with light hearted entertainment enables everyone to understand why some of us cling to what some would call out-moded ideals. The modern gentlemen represents many desirable qualities that we can all strive to achieve and the Art of Manliness community shows that even today there is a strong support for bringing old tradition back into the modern world.
Maybe I’m just nostalgic for times gone past. Maybe I’m just aspiring to an ideal that has no place in this modern world but for myself adhering to them has, I believe, lead me to becoming a much better man. Having my fiancee by my side brought out characteristics in myself that I never knew existed and showed me how much I respected my father and his relationship with my mother. If anyone is to blame with this idea that all men should aspire to be gentlemen it should be my father as it was not his teachings but manner which instilled in me the ideals that I aspire to today.
And for that, I am ever grateful.